Wednesday, February 26, 2014

MMC (2/17/14)

Due to the request of my friend TW Wright over at Indonesia Around Me, I have decided to finish all of my stories. Well, most of them. :)
Here's the story I posted for Monday's Minute Challenge on February 17:

I pulled myself up onto the ledge that I had been striving so hard to reach; sinking down to my knees, I thanked God for bringing me here safely thus far. It had been a long, hard journey and it was not yet half over! Stretching my weary body, I decided to take a short break so that I might gather the strength to keep going. As I was lying on the smooth cool rock, I closed my eyes and started to remember things I wanted to stay buried. I tried pushing the thoughts away, but they just kept returning to haunt me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, then opened them again and looked at the deep blue sky. It was so beautiful. It would be something I would remember in years and years when I reminisced about today. Maybe when my long and wearisome trek is over, I will find a place to call home; not just the cliché 'My home is where Jesus is' (which is true), but a real, earthly home too. I smiled wistfully at the thought. Maybe there would be white shutters on the little yellow house and some red roses outside the windows. Maybe there would even be trees to climb up in; if there were, I would climb up to the very top and just sit up there and talk to God.
"I knew I would find you sooner or later," an exceedingly familiar and unfriendly voice said, jerking me rudely out of my wistful reverie. Lance looks (and acts) just the same as he always has: cocky, rude, unfriendly, did I forget to mention rude? He's also a sort of mercenary for whoever can pay him the most... and he's only 17!
"Hi, Lance," I said calmly. "What brings you out here?"
"You know full well what brings me out here. I'm here to collect you and take you back." he replied smoothly, never stuttering or mumbling.
I straightened my shoulders and breathed a little prayer for guidance. "I'm not going back. You can't force me, Lance."
He swaggered a bit and laughed meanly. "Oh, yeah? You really think that you have a choice? Your dad wants you back."
"My real dad," I murmured, "Told me to leave. He's actually right here with me. Right now."
Lance looked unsure for a minute and then burst out in sadistic laughter. I really hate his laugh.
"You mean your god? He's not real, Serene. I've told you a million times before." He rolls his eyes like he's talking to a 2 year old. I plead for God's help, just one last time. With tears springing unbidden to my eyes, I gaze at Lance. I know what I have to do.

Here is the ending I have been working on. :)

“Lance, I’m telling you the truth. I’m not going back.” I said, straightening my shoulders. I stared at him forcefully til he looked away. “I know for a fact that I’m never going to go back to that place. Ever.”
Lance looked up startled; he was surprised at my sureness, I knew.
“How come you think that?” he asked honestly, without his usual meanness.
“God told me so.” I replied frankly. To my great surprise, he didn’t mock or chastise me for my ‘foolishness’. He lowered his gaze and whispered, “Serene, I told Dad I would bring you back. I know there’s no life for you there, but can’t you come back? Just for a while?”
I shook my head sadly, knowing it just wasn’t possible. Lance glanced at the beautiful view and then turned to me quickly.
“Serene, I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “I know I’ve been rude and mean and I’ve scolded and neglected you. I haven’t been any kind of family to you, but… will you please forgive me?”
The humbleness of his tone and the tears in his voice went straight to my heart and I wrapped him in a big hug.
"Oh, Lance…” I started. “Of course I forgive you.”

After spending time talking with Lance, he said quickly (as though he would change his mind if he didn’t say it now), “Serene, I’m coming with you.”
This only slightly surprised me, but it made me think about the life he had back in Ait Brónach.
“Oh, Lance,” I murmured softly. “What about college? And Beatrice?”
He squirmed uncomfortably, thinking of his former girlfriend. “Well, Beatrice and I broke up a couple of months ago.” He sat, pondering for minute. “College... well, I can go to college somewhere else. It’s no big deal, Serene, really.”
I smiled; it would be nice to have Lance there with me to help me on my way. I wouldn’t feel nervous anymore, with him there to protect me. I knew God was watching me and taking care of me, but it would still be nice to have my brother with me.
“I’m glad you’re going,” I informed him with a smile widening on my face.
Neither of us knew what was going to happen, but I knew we could take on anything with God on our side.

I hope you guys like it! I'll be working on endings to my other stories, as well. :)


  1. I LOVED IT ELISABETH!!!! (and the caps on button was on for a reason *winks*)

    You did such a good job!!! =D I love it!!! =D

    1. Thanks! Did the fact that Lance was her brother surprise you?
      Just asking because it surprised my sister, Anna. :)